I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
