Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
