ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months