Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dating After Heartbreak
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.