It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night