i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
