i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
