I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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