he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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