i jhust puked up my retainher.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
