two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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