I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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