Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
