Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
