Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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