You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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