Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize