They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
