This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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