i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
