well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
