there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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