I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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