I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
