Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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