Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
