Nicole vs. Life
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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