Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
