I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
