I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
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Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?