guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?