Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.