Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.