Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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