I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
how does that bad decision feel?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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