Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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