I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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