I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
