He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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