I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
