sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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