you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize