I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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