..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
