Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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