we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We are all done wearing pants today
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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