Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize