I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
