Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
