You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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