I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
