apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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