I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
