I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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