I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
