Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
