Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Welp...herpes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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