she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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