C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
