I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
