I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Drunk is not a location!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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